Welcome to Whatever-Wench.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Just found this and thought I would share....

Why do we do it to ourselves... ??? Do ourselves up so much .. just for a few hours... Carefully select our wardrobe for a night out with Hubby... Right down to the underware. First you dig out the fancy undies, usually it being a thong.. No panty lines right..?? we couldn't have that..!! Then the Bra... A push up bra... One that is most definately 2 sizes too small... Suck it in.. We all want cleavage.. I know I have it with out (boobs sag without)the push up bra... But I choose to add just a little more... It seems as though us married women need to prove that we still have it... Your breasts begin to sag after your first child.. the only way they will have any perkiness now is with the push up bra.. the best invention for us women that have given birth and had babies suckin on our boobs... Your breasts will never be the same as they were before you had children... Then comes the pants or skirt... I swear we have to try on every damn piece of clothing out of our closet to see if it still fits... Well I got smart this year... I chose to wear my jeans... Nice Calvin Klien jeans... (Mind you the party was Casual).. so that helped alot... But imagine if I had to go to a formal party... omg... Every piece of clothing I own would be on my bedroom floor right now... Then comes the top/shirt/blouse whatever you want to call it... Well I tell you tonight was my biggest challange with that... I think my entire closet of shirts ended up on my bed tonight... Well I know one thing.. My boobs did get bigger... That's suppose to be a good thing right... Well not really cause my tummy got bigger too... I couldn't even do half the buttons up the top half anyway... So I finally found a tank top and a cross over style top.. BUT the top was cotton.. good thing.. Cause that meant I could breath still.. But still a problem.. The damn tummy rolls .. How was I gonna hide that?? Suit jackets are a gift sent from god.. I could still show cleavage and hide my tummy rolls all at the same time... My wardrobe was saved... at least I was thinking so... You see now I had to find socks.. and shoes... So I went in my dresser and got a pair of socks.. Nice high ones so that the boots I chose to wear did not rub and give me blisters.. I hate blisters on my feet.. they damn well hurt... I did choose my high black boots.. they have a 3 inch heel.. What was I thinking... Well I am all dressed and have my socks on.. I go to put my boots on.. MY feet grew too.. Omg.. what next... My tits, my ass, my belly, who the hell would have thought your feet would grow too.?? I didn't!!!.. So I then remembered that I came across a box today with pantyhose in it... So I took the socks off got the pantyhose (kneehighs) on.. After a little struggle .. I finally got my boots on with the help of my 3 year old... Yahooo.... Now that I am dressed I can get my hair done without worrying about messing it getting dressed... So off I go.. Then it is makeup.. Omg... I remember the day when it only took me 20 minutes to get it on... Well, 1 Hour later... I finally have my makeup on... An extra 40 minutes... NOw I am ready to go.. Hubby is gone to pick up the sitter... I am hoping that he will get here soon so that I don't have to keep going back to check to see if everything is perfect... Well, no... He is 1/2 hour behind... So back and forth to the bathroom I go.. Making sure I get everything right... Finally he gets home and we leave... I am sure everything looks fine... But hubby had to ask me how I was feeling.. He just had to ask... I told him I felt FAT.. yeah thats right... I felt fat... Well, You would too if you had on a push up bra.. A thong ridding up your ass... a pair of jeans that seem to keep getting smaller... A Tank top that is too tight for you over your push up bra and a Cross over shirt that is stretchy cotton that is over your tank top that is over your push up bra .. And boots that you couldn't get on with socks and barely got on with Nylons... All just to prove to yourself mostly that you still have it... Hubby could care less .. He is out to get a buzz on .. and you are once again the designated driver... By the time you are leaving hubby is feeling really good and on the way home falls asleep in the car... Only to get home and he is first to bed... But you know what... Hubby is the one that loves you..
We seem to do this all for ourselves and thinking we do it for hubby.. But No.. It is to prove to ourselves that we still have what it takes to tease the opposite sex... I think if we think we can still bait the opposite sex.. then we still have a strong hold on our hubbies...
But what I have realized in my short life is that my husband is there for me whether I am fat, thin, pretty, or homely(pmsl).... I know I have someone that loves for me the way I am... So think about the next time you get dressed up to go out... Is it really worth the stress of sucking your belly in or wearing that push up bra (mandatory after kids)... No its not.... But we will continue to put ourselves through the stress of it all... I know that next year it will be the same thing all over again... Just hoping that I weigh 30 pounds less... But, It will be one day of stress then back to my life... I have a family that loves me and a Husband that will take me anyway.. He loves me and only me...
Angela Durocher
December 19th 2004

Monday, May 22, 2006

Top Ten Old West Phrases.....

...That Will Never Sound The Same
After That Damned
Gay Cowboy Movie!
1. I'm gonna pump you fulla lead!
2. Give me a stiff one, barkeep!
3. Don't fret... I've been in tight spots before.
4. Howdy, pardner.
5. You stay here while I sneak around from behind.
6. Two words: Saddle Sore.
7. Hold it right there! Now, move your hand, reeeal slow-like.
8. Let's mount up!
9. Nice spread ya got there!
10. Ride'em cowboy!

Happy H.N.T.

Well it has been a while
Here is a little treat!
Happy HNT!

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Normalcy

We lovvvvvveeeee Our Popcorn!!

Hubby just mixes this with some Rye,
then we are all set for a night of fun.....


Some days it is just all too easy to give to the kids...

Where everything is easy on Easy Jet....
*For all the Morons out there....This is only intended as a joke folks*

Friday, May 05, 2006

Random Sh*t



Bare with me here... I must say it has been a beautiful week here with the exception of my lovely auntie showing up. The kids were great with the exception of the tempertantrums (not my own kid). Gracie loves to eat Crap Dinner at Jane's house as she put it, technically Kraft dinner! I nearly pissed myself laughing at that one. Miss Bella was mad last night cause Mamma wouldn't give her anything else to eat-5 mins after dinner was finished up and put away. She was also not impressed that she had to have a shower too (for her a shower is a good thing, she hates baths). She certainly told her dad off about the shower, 10 minutes later she was fast asleep, snoring louder than the growl of a chainsaw. Miss Hanna seems to think that the phone held up to Mamma's ear is an open invitation to tell me the entirety of her life in 1 second flat. I am gonna have to ask her what she said again. I am declaring that today (Friday) is officially ASS wiping day. My 6,5,3 year olds think it is gross to wipe their butts. They are way too girlie for that

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Got a New Hair Do

It is alot darker and I like it!!

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Location: Calgary, Canada

I am a crazy mother of 3 girls all under the age of 6. I drive a school bus, I aslo love photography, I am married now for almost 2 years to a wonderful man named Monte.

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